I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
