Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
