I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
