I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
