But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
People with herpes should wear stickers.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
