you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
