is your mom at the bar?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize