Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
