THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
this just has baby written all over it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
