Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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