maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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