thus making me awesome and them whores
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize