ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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