I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
