ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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