we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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