It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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