I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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