Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize