"it" just moved
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
