Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize