So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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