Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize