Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
