my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
