I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
