Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
