organizing the empties. That sober.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
