Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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