pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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