you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
