i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
