Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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