if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
