right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
How does one acquire holy water?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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