i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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