If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
