We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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