yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
