I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
