Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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