Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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