I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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