I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
