this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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