I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
