He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
