i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
