yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Everything about him screamed your future.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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