On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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