He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
