hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
