it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
