Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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