Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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