I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
