shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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