And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
