she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
