Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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