In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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