Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
