Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize