D3 body, D1 cock
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
tell your sister to shave her snatch
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
