Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
