i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
