Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If that was your dad, he is hot
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
