i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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